I've hit a wall, and by wall, I obviously mean a metaphorical wall, though there was that time I did actually hit a wall with my car, but I digress. I hate running. There. I've said it. I've blown any chance of getting anyone who was vaguely thinking about running to start now. But that's how I feel at the moment. As you know, I've entered a half marathon in June, and I'm currently trying to train for it, bearing in mind I last did any real running back in 2014, and I'm not enjoying it. At all.
I thought that by entering a half, it would spur me on to get out there and run again, because I had definitely caught the bug back in 2014, but I just can't seem to muster much enthusiasm for going out on a run. I have a training plan, which involves 3 x 30 minute runs in the week, with gradually increasing longer run at the weekend, but so far I have hated all the runs, except for the very last minute of every run when I know I'm about to stop.
I hope this is just a blip.
I know I don't HAVE to run the half marathon in June, as even though I've paid my admission fee, I'm not running for a charity, so I could just not do it. But at the same time, I don't want to feel I'm letting myself down, and I'm wondering if I will enjoy it more as it gets easier. I'm at the point where it still takes alot to run and I can certainly feel it in my whole body.
When to run is also harder this time round. When I ran in 2014, I'd always run first thing in the morning before Bee woke up. I had no time to debate if I was going or not, I'd literally just roll out of bed and run. Now, I can't run in the mornings because LL isn't the best sleeper, so I never know when she's going to get up and need feeding, so I tend to run in the evening. This means I think of excuses all day of why not to run.
God this is such an uninspiring post. I think the answer is to just shut up and get on with it, no? I just wish I could fast forward to that point where I run and love it, this bit where it feels like hard work is tough, but I think I'd be silly to stop now, and then if I did stop, I'd end up moaning about that! But I wanted to post today as an update, and tell it like it really is. At the moment it's tough, hard and I'd rather be at home eating chocolate.