Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Baby Group Fail

Last week I went to a local parent and baby morning.  Things didn't get off to a great start when not one single other parent, in a room of at least 20, attempted to make eye contact with me.  Nor did anyone tell me that I'd sat in the group leaders place, so I had to move and then squeeze into a tiny place more suited to a small flea. Things went from bad to worse as we started to sing, Old MacDonald went to France, and parents began shouting suggestions that we had to act out, like, 'eat a baguette', 'saw a snail', and 'he smelt some garlic'.  I looked at LL, and LL looked at me. I decided quite quickly after the first chorus we were never going to come back.  

Maybe my sense of humour is slowly being lost via my breast milk, but I couldn't care less what Old MacDonald saw in France, and I certainly don't want to impersonate a snail.  As a side note, surely he should be looking after his farm anyway. 

They say you never do as much in terms of groups and activities with your second, and I think to an extent that might be true. Everything seems to have been set to double speed with your second. But I also think I haven't got the time to sit through a group I don't enjoy and if a group doesn't suit me and LL, we just won't go again.   With LL, I don't feel that pressure I felt with Bee to attend groups. I'm much more relaxed, and that suits me just fine.  

New mums can feel like they 'should' be going to messy play, singing time, music time, paint time, dancing time, and whilst all that is fantastic, it's also absolutely OK if that's not your thing.  Attending playgroup weekly is not a qualification your baby needs to have to gain entry into school. 

Now I'm not saying these groups aren't good.  They can be amazing for babies and also give parents a chance to meet other like minded mums and dads, or sometimes they just get you out of the actual house and stop you from going crazy.  But, you have to find the one that suits you, and you shouldn't feel guilty about that.  Baby days are too short to spend them feeling guilty if you're not prancing around in a circle with a tambourine (that group wasn't too bad actually, and not like the time I had to do a solo at baby group). 

So for now, me and LL will let Old MacDonald have his adventures in France alone.  Quite frankly neither of us care.  And I think we'd both prefer a nice walk to the park instead. C'est la vie.   

Update:  Since writing this post, me and LL went along to a messy play session in our local village and it was amazing!!! Mums I didn't know made me feel really welcome, and I didn't just sit there like a Billy no mates. LL loved it too. It just goes to show you have to find the group that works for you and your little one, and there wasn't a snail impression in sight. 

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