Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Toddler Fight Club : meaner and tougher

Last month I wrote a post about how I thought my toddler had her own little fight club thing going on.  Not in the actual fight club sense with physical violence, but, as in the film, her own little set of rules that you chose not to obey at your peril. A key rule was that her 'rules' changed pretty frequently without her actually telling me or her dad any of them.  You can read the original toddler fight club post here. Almost as if she had read my post, my beautiful daughter has upped her game, and here for your reading pleasure are her new toddler fight club rules.   

Rule one of toddler fight club. There are many, many rules. 

Rule two of toddler fight club. These rules will change daily sometimes hourly and different people have different rules.  If you are going to blog about them mummy, I will change them again.  This is my fight club. 

Rule three of toddler fight club.  I now like not two, but three rubber ducks in my bed at bedtime.  Count them buster, 1,2,3.  And yes, I still need my penguin, a heart shaped stone and a blanket.  If any one of these said items is missing, then you can wave sleep bye-bye.

Rule four of toddler fight club.  I will trump at any given moment and then look nonchalantly at you. Yes, I am fully aware you find this embarrassing, but I am not admitting to trumping in public, its way too embarrassing.  For all intents and purposes, it was you.

Rule five of toddler fight club. I will also embarrass you at playgroup and announce in my loudest voice that the big blue lump of play dough looks like a poo I did that morning.  It's in the public's interest that they know this information. 

Do not be fooled by the tiara and wand.  This kid means business. 

Rule six of toddler fight club. Do not ever tell people about my skills. My skills are for your eyes only. I am not a performing monkey.  The minute you tell someone I can sing Frozen or I'm a chatter box, I lose all power and control over my vocal chords.  And quite frankly, you look a little stupid.

Rule seven of toddler fight club. I now quite like the phrase 'donkey flag' which I like to shout at the top of my voice whilst we are food shopping.  I have no idea what it means either.

Rule eight of toddler fight club. I must perform a five minute dance routine before bed or I can't sleep.  You let me watch Mary Poppins at Christmas and now I feel like I need to recreate Bert's chimney sweep dance before bed.  Every single night. 

Rule nine of toddler fight club. If you give me a helium balloon then expect me to work out the point in any given building of the highest ceiling to floor ratio and then I will release it there.  Now please go and get it or I will cry.

Rule ten of toddler fight club. The dog is still my personal miniature pony and he shall transport me around the house whenever I feel the need. 

Ahhh, toddlers eh?! Well as I'm typing its bedtime in the Laura Evelyn Bee household, so whilst I go and watch my daughter pretend to be a chimney sweep, are there any rules you think your little one would add to the list? Comments below please!  

Thank you for reading, 

Monday, 26 January 2015

One kiss, two kiss, hug or wave?

Years ago, I think to say hello or to say hi to someone you just, well, you just said 'hello' or 'hi'.  Today, there is the air kiss, the kiss to one cheek, the kiss to both cheeks, the hug, the wave or the rubbing of an arm.  And then there's what I do, which usually involves some bizarre combination of all six and results in everyone feeling a little awkward. It seems like everyone else has had the 'how to greet' memo except me.

I can't remember when this greeting calamity started.  I have a feeling it's the moment that I started even thinking about what to do.  A memory that stands out for me is at a very good friends wedding.  After the ceremony both families lined up and you had to greet them as you walked into the main reception room.  I can remember feeling nervous as me and my husband got to the front.  And then it was my turn to congratulate the father-in-law.  And  what did I do? I double kissed him on each cheek. I have no idea what came over me.  I don't know if I had been watching too many Kardashian episodes, but I think he wondered what I was bloody doing.  In fact, I can remember at him looking at me with a mixture of puzzlement and maybe a little bit of fear that I was going to give him three kisses. 

Then there's the people that I go and give a hug to, and then they kiss me on the cheek, and I am there hugging away, when they have cheek-kissed and basically moved on.  I am left looking like a bit of idiot and resembling a mussel stuck to a rock.  Awkward. I once went to kiss someone on the cheek but I missed and kissed their ear. Now THAT was awkward. Do you just air kiss? I have to admit I do.  Since my misplaced kiss of the ear at least if I pretend to kiss no-one's going to know if my lips missed the cheek target.

To strangers, if I hold a hand out to greet they look at me like we are in the boardroom and I'm Lord Sugar. And then if I don't shake their hand and I do a wave (which is pretty ridiculous in itself...who waves at someone who's right in front of them?) they look at me like they would have actually preferred a hug. I admit I have been guilty myself of going in for a hug whilst the other person has gone to kiss me on the cheek.  They ended up with a mouthful of my hair as I turned my head. I knew, because I saw them pulling my blonde hair out of their mouth. I thought it rude to mention anything. Thank god they didn't choke. 

If you are looking for any kind of advice on this matter, don't look at me. Because quite frankly, I am clueless to this whole greeting dance that we perform (obviously).  But maybe you don't need any advice, maybe it's just me.  But if you could forward me that memo, it would be much appreciated.  You will spot me easily at the party, I will be the one surrounded by the guy choking on a mouthful of my hair and the lady with my lipstick on her ear.

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And then the fun began...

Friday, 23 January 2015

Kangaroo modelling, boots & a 30th

It was a very good friend's surprise birthday party in Manchester at the weekend, and after dropping our daughter off at her grandma's we made our way to a very cold Manchester.  I looked at my husband as we parked the car and gave him my best puppy dog eyes look (that really makes me look a little odd). 'Pleeeeaaasssseeee', I said,  'OK, OK', he replied. Because to be fair, who wants to be stood on a residential street taking photos of your wife's outfit because she needs to blog about it? Exactly. 

Once again, I channelled my inner model (who for the record doesn't inner model is in fact a kangaroo).  'Stop bouncing about', Mr.Bee said, 'your legs look funny', 'I'm trying to look natural', I squealed. Bloody hell.  After assuring me he had some good shots (!) we headed to the party to surprise our friend along with about 50 others. 

The party was held at a local micro-brewery which sold more variety of beers than you could shake your beer goggles at. As the designated driver I cannot critique any for you, but I can say my husband seemed to be enjoying himself trying out the many many different beers on offer. There was laughter and some singing of Michael Jacksons 'The Earth Song' which seems to be an in joke of our friend's friends.  It was quite entertaining! Sneaking a peak of my earlier outfit shots, revealed that we needed to take a more (I know!). So I quickly posed and hoped for the best. 

I couldn't decide on what to wear so opted for this blue sweetheart neckline dress which is very old from All Saints.  On its own it can look quite dressy, so I paired it with a grey blazer (Topshop) and a pair of grey suede ankle boots (head over heels by Dune).  

I have only recently bought these ankle boots, but I wonder how I didn't have a pair before.  They are so versatile and can be worn to dress up a pair of jeans up or with dresses when I don't want to wear my trusty nude heels. Ankle boots are definitely worth a look and there are so many styles in the sales currently. The pair I'm wearing are currently in the sale for £24 and they are so comfy (link here). And for some style inspiration...

Ankle Boots

Hmmm, maybe shoe modelling is more my forte!! But, enough about boots, back to the party...

And how amazing is this cake? 

We had such an amazing night and felt very honoured to celebrate with our good friend. Happy 30th Birthday Mr.M! 

Wishing you all a lovely weekend!

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Wednesday, 21 January 2015

The one about boobs

Ahh boobs. They're everywhere aren't they?  Almost daily they are in the press. From a woman apparently waving them around her head in a posh restaurant whilst breastfeeding, to a woman breastfeeding in the swimming baths or maybe even the ten year old that is still breastfed. Then there are the mum's who dare not to use their boobs to feed their baby. And then there's the mum's that dare do.  The women who's tops are too low.  The woman who has no boobs. The woman who has huge boobs. And if you haven't quite had enough of boobs yet, there's always page three where you can see pictures of them, just so you definitely know what they look like. Today, I heard on the news that the British tabloid, The Sun, are no longer going to be printing pictures of topless women on their page three, and you know what? I actually felt compelled to write a blog post to mark the occasion. 

The Sun newspaper, apparently (thanks Google), has a daily circulation of around 2.2 million copies.  That's alot of copies. That's alot of readers.  What I find interesting is that up until this week, you could open this newspaper and see a picture of a topless woman.  And for me, it really isn't about the page three model.  If you want to model with your top off, then that's your free choice and decision. Page three to me, represented boobs as being primarily for male gratification. 

I find it funny that some men (not all) are happy to stare at boobs in a newspaper, but at the same time they are agog when you use one to actually nourish and feed an infant. Especially near Nigel Farage.  And for the record, as a mum who breastfed, I can honestly say I never once stood up in a restaurant and waved them about for all to see. Quite frankly, I have no intention of showing the world my boobs, and even if I wanted to, I didn't have the time, I had a screaming baby wanting to be fed.   

The same men overlook the bit about that boob providing everything a baby needs for the first six months of that little ones life.  That makes boobs pretty amazing to me. Alot more amazing than just getting them out. But it's not just about breastfeeding.  Page three, to me, represents the notion that boobs are there to be leered at.  It represents those wolf whistles you get on the street, those comments when you are out and when you don't know where to look. That notion that you are just a body.  The notion that all you are is how you look. 

Will this mark a change in people's views of the female body? I think changing page three will change nothing overnight, but I hope it goes some way to society seeing the person beyond the boobs. And maybe, just maybe, it starts the way for woman to no longer be objectified by society.  That woman aren't 'just' boobs. In fact we aren't 'just' anything.  

How would I even begin to explain page three to my toddler? Well, I just wouldn't. But what I do hope for my daughter is that when she is older, she can walk down the street without wolf whistles, without feeling embarrassed. I hope she can feel respected by society as the clever and intelligent girl that I know she will be.  So much more than her appearance.  And so so much more than a pair of boobs. 

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Brilliant blog posts on

Monday, 19 January 2015

A 30th Birthday Gift Hamper

At the weekend it was a very good friend's surprise 30th birthday party and I was really struggling to know what to buy him.  What do you buy the guy who has everything? If you have read my previous blogs you will know that I love a gift hamper (you can see my baby shower basket here and a father's day basket here). As our friend is a real foodie, I thought a food gift basket would be a personal and delicious present!

I popped to T K Maxx where I always pick up any baskets I need, however, after picking a basket, I then found this gorgeous pizza plate.  It is a bit of a running joke that our friend is the 16th best pizza eater in the world (he has dropped a few places in recent years), and I thought instead of a basket I could centre the gift around this plate, which to be honest I think he will use much more than a basket anyway. 

I then bought a few items that I thought he would like.  As its his 30th, obviously I had to include a bottle of champagne along with some savoury and sweet treats. I then got my trusty cellophane (!) and wrapped the gift.  I got some really pretty ribbon from Hobbycraft for only 80p for a metre (I didn't realise you could buy ribbon by the metre there and it does really finish off the gift).  Here's the final present: 

To wrap the entire gift I wanted something a bit personal too, so I wrapped it in plain brown paper and then I hand stamped it with little phrases, such as 'happy birthday' and 'thirty'. I think the overall effect looks really good and makes the present alot more individual.  I will certainly be stamping my brown wrapping paper in the future!

Thanks for reading and hope I have inspired you if you have any birthdays coming up!

Happy Monday, 

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Friday, 16 January 2015

My true love

Hello and happy Friday!  Today I thought I would share with you a new piece in my wardrobe that I am deeply in love with.  This jumper hasn't been off my back since I got it and whilst you may think I am over-exaggerating, I think friends and family have questioned if I actually own any other clothes!! Introducing, my new BFF (!), the All Saints Itat Shrug!

First of all, I adore All Saints.  I think the quality of the clothes is just amazing and very long lasting. Items wash well and are true investment pieces. I had completely fallen in love with this top when I saw it back in October, and I finally purchased it during a 20% event just before Christmas (they seem to have a 20% event most months).  I got it in the grey marl shade, but there is a dark grey, black and taupe available too. The fit is loose with quite fitted sleeves, and there is this lovely drape detail at the front where the material overlaps on itself.  But that's not all! 

This is no ordinary jumper.  What I love about this top is that it turns into a cardigan too! You flick the V section behind your head and voila! A cardigan!! (And it actually looks like a lovely cardigan, it doesn't look like you have just wrapped something over your head).  

The Itat shrug is still available at All Saints here and the dark grey version appears to have gone in the sale for £39! Versatile, comfy and stylish...I think my love affair with this piece will be a long one!

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful weekend! 

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