Wednesday, 30 December 2015

The guilt nobody told me about

Before LL came along my three year old daughter was my little partner in crime.  I've been lucky enough that since she was born I've been able to have a career break from work. This has meant me and my daughter have been pretty much inseparable.  We have done everything together.  The good times of spontaneous picnics, girls shopping trips and farm visits, and (lets not wear rose tinted glasses here) even the not so good times, like when she spilt a whole jug of milk down me in the middle of Marks and Spencer or when she tantrum rolled herself down an aisle in Sainsburys. 

Before LL came, in those last few weeks of my pregnancy, I really treasured every moment. I knew things were about to change.  But what nobody told me is how our relationship would change, or the guilt I'd feel as my role changed.  

In these first few weeks of having LL, my time has been almost entirely consumed with caring for a newborn.  With breastfeeding, changing and caring for this little bundle 24/7. And I guess that is how it should be.  I've included my eldest in all the things you're meant to, like reading to her whilst I'm feeding, including her to help care for LL.  But still, there's been a change.  

It's not me she calls for if she needs something now. Its not me she gets into the car and sits nicely for.  It's her Daddy. I feel like I'm suddenly second best.  

And I know this is good.  My husband tells me its nice to finally be that person for a change, instead of it always being me.  And I know this is completely normal.  But that doesn't stop me feeling guilty when she asks for Daddy when I'm stood right next to her.  Or when I tell her to wait a minute for the hundredth time as LL has just been sick everywhere again.

I know I can't do everything.  I know I'm not superwoman.  But that doesn't stop me from wanting to be.  I guess I have to adjust to being a mum of two.  I just wish someone had forewarned me of this guilt I feel.  

I think the transition from three to four just takes time for us all, I just hope my eldest always knows how much I love her, even if its not just us two girls anymore when Daddy goes to work.  Its something even more special now, its us three girls.  The three musketeers.  

Friday, 25 December 2015

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas!!! 
I wanted to write a quick post to wish you all a very happy Christmas! I hope you all have a lovely day filled with love and lots of food (obviously!) 

It's 5am on Christmas Day as I write this and I've been up all night. Usually when people say that, they haven't but it just feels like they have. I actually have. Little LL has reflux (we think) and this last night she has woke every 45 minutes in pain. It's horrible. To see your little baby in pain is tough. Add to that my sleep deprivation and you've got a recipe for me probably crying a lot today!! But it will be OK. 

I know reflux will pass, and I know that other than that she is a beautiful, healthy little girl. But right now, as I feel like the only person awake in the world, it's pretty tough. 

I think we're all ready for today. The presents are laid out and we prepped the vegetables ready for lunch. By the way, don't look at Instagram today. I've been scrolling through all night, and all I've seen is people's trees with more presents than I thought humanly possible for a child to have! It's easy to lose sight of what christmas is about and feel like you've not done enough or a good enough job as other people. 

And this Christmas I haven't been my most organised. There are things I would have liked to have done, but I've not had the time. There are things I would have liked to have taken my eldest daughter to, but I've not been able to because of LL. I've had mum guilt alot this Christmas.

On Christmas Eve I'd planned for us all to watch Christmas DVDs and eat popcorn, but that didn't go quite to plan as LL was unsettled and, oh yes, we think there's a mouse in the garage so my husband spent an hour installing fancy sonar devices so it will go and live elsewhere. I'm hoping the said mouse wasn't meant to be my surprise Christmas present. My eldest was quite excited about the mouse actually. I think she wants it as a pet. I say mouse, I hope it's not a rat. Anyway, he or she should hopefully be vacating the garage sometime soon. 

This Christmas is different to all of our others. Today I have the most beautiful three and a half year old and the most precious 7 week old baby. I have an amazing husband who is the best daddy in the world to them both.  How lucky am I to be a mummy to two little girls. 

So today I'm forgetting Instagram, Twitter and looking what everyone else is doing. I'm going to try and not think of the things I haven't or could have done. I'm going to enjoy our first Christmas as a family of four. I'm also going to try and limit the amount of times I cry, though I can't promise anything as I'm so so tired! 

Sometimes the idea of Christmas and our expectation and anticipation can be different from the reality. But that's ok. That's life. I hope my daughters look back and know that even though I could sleep standing up, at 5am on Christmas morning I was sitting in bed cuddling LL and thinking how much I love them both and how lucky I am. And hoping they both have a wonderful first Christmas as sisters. 

Whether you are having a quiet Christmas today or a big family Christmas, enjoy every single minute. 

Happy Christmas and thank you for reading, and I hope this 5am post makes sense! 


Wednesday, 9 December 2015


Hello there! I am sorry I haven't posted in a while.  Before LL came along, I had this idea in my head that I would still be blogging whilst she fed and I'd be able to happily multi-task.  The reality is some days its a mission to brush my own teeth, let alone write a legible and coherent blog post!

But, here I am.  LL is 5 weeks old today and I'm sat in the nursery feeding her.  We've had a really bad night and I think I got a grand total of 2 hours sleep.  My husband is also away, so its been a tough week.  Not that I'm feeling sorry for myself (well maybe I am just a little).  The kitchen is such a mess it looks like we have been burgled, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, I thought it would be a good idea to sort out a kitchen cupboard this morning.   

I can only describe these first few weeks as some of the toughest times with sleep deprivation and trying to get into a rhythm of having two little ones to look after.  But, these first few weeks are also the most magical and special.  It's a strange mix.   

I know these days will quickly pass, so when I'm sat in bed shedding a little tear because I am so exhausted, I try to focus on the fact that one day I will want these days back. 

One of the hardest things of being a mum of two is the guilt in trying to split my time between them both.  I feel guilty if one is crying while I'm trying to sort the other out and at times I just worry if I'm doing a good enough job.  I feel guilty if I am cleaning instead of playing, guilty if I'm trying to Christmas shop instead of just being a mum.  But then I think all of this is part of being a mum.  I thought with my second I would worry less about what I'm doing, but where I am confident in alot of things, that worry of if I'm doing a good enough job is still there, especially when I'm tired.  I think that just comes with being a mum and I'll never escape it. 

I can't put into words my love for LL and I look at my two girls and wonder how I got to be so lucky to have this amazing little family.  
LL has finished feeding now, so I will go and try and do something with the kitchen before feral cats make a home in there. 

I have lots to share with you, from my birth story, to the things I wish I'd packed in my labour bag and a little story of breastfeeding in front of 500 people!!!!

Thank you so much for reading and bearing with me.  I thought people may have forgotten about me and my little blog, but I was so happy this morning when I saw people were still reading and checking back. Thank you so much, it means so much to me to have you share my journey. 

I hope you are having a good day, and I hope this post is legible and makes some sense.  

Thank you for reading, 

Friday, 13 November 2015

Welcome to the world

On Wednesday 4th November at 3.10am we welcomed a beautiful baby girl to the Bee family. 9 months of waiting, weeks of debating if I was in labour, one false start, and here she is. Born two days early. Our perfect baby girl.

I often wondered how it would feel to love another little baby. I love my three year old daughter with every cell in my body. My love is indescribable for her. I often would stare at my pregnant belly and wonder if that love could be repeated again. 

Someone once told me that your love just grows, and as cheesy as it sounds your heart just grows that bit more to accommodate more love. Ok, that's really cheesy, but you know what? It's really true. As I held this tiny baby in my arms, I fell in love all over again. I knew I'd do anything for her. My beautiful baby girl. 

LL is now 9 days old and I'm sat in bed feeding her typing this on my phone. I got 2 hours sleep last night and I'm not quite sure how my eyes are still open. I'd completely forgot (or blocked out) how tiring the early weeks are. But being baby no.2 I do feel different. I think I'm a little bit more relaxed. At 4am when I wanted to wail at my sheer exhaustion I knew in my head this won't last forever. When I'm old and wrinkly I know I will think about these days, that feeling at 4am that you and baby are the only ones awake in the whole world, that baby smell, the touch of soft skin. This is it. 

I won't go into my labour story now but it went amazingly and as hard as it was it was surreal and so special. 

My daughter, who I shall now have to refer to as BB, adores her baby sister and has been amazing too. She's played up a few times for us, like refusing to get dressed or hiding under the table, but I think that's to be expected. Everything has changed. 

I still can't quite believe this little person was in my belly just over a week ago. It truly is a miracle. And whilst this may read like I'm seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses, maybe that's because I am. All through my pregnancy I marvelled at the miracle of being blessed with another baby. And now she's here. 

Welcome to the world my little darling LL. 


Friday, 30 October 2015

Pregnancy Blog: Week 38

Another week has gone by, and I can't believe that next week is my actual due date! Thoughts are definitely now turning to when baby will make an appearance.  Even though admittedly, most weeks I've thought I've been in labour, I think I might go over by a few days. We shall see! 

I really think the end of pregnancy is such a mixture of emotions. I'm sad that my pregnancy and the miracle that I've grown and carried a baby is coming to end. But then I'm excited to meet our new son or daughter.  I'm nervous for labour, but then I feel ready to take on the challenge(some days). It feels like normal time and the world around me is somehow suspended in these last few weeks, as I'm in my own pregnancy bubble. 

Baby feels really low down now, and sometimes it feels like baby is actually going to drop out if I move to quickly.  There is definitely alot of pressure down there!

I'm getting alot of Braxton Hicks too and I know when I'm overtired, as they get stronger and more frequent as they have done for the past month.  Last night I had alot of cramps, but after going to bed early I've felt fine this morning.  

I've really had trouble sleeping these last few nights.  I get to sleep OK, but if I wake in the night or early morning, I really struggle to get back to sleep.  My mind just starts racing about labour and things I need to do.  I vaguely remember this happening towards the end of my first pregnancy. 

I've been doing alot of batch cooking this week, to the point where my husband has told me to stop as there is no physical space in our quite big freezer!! It feels a bit like I'm cooking for the end of the world and that all shops and fresh produce will become extinct once baby is here, but I just know I won't feel up to cooking in a few weeks.  And I am obviously a bit obsessed with being over-prepared!

The jury is out as to whether its a boy or a girl, and I would say most people seem to be split.  This pregnancy has felt so different to my daughters though, and I don't know if that is because this could be a little boy, or just because every pregnancy is different. 

With my daughter I had really severe indigestion, and I must have guzzled about 6 big bottles of Gaviscon during the course of my pregnancy.  I've only had really mild indigestion this time round. And this pregnancy I would say I was much, much sicker with morning (!) sickness and it went on for much longer.  This baby also feels more wriggly and active than my daughter did.  We shall see what this all means! 

I seem to have read lots of labour books this week and my views of labour have changed quite dramatically.  I thought I would just go with the flow again, but I'm now leaning towards a water birth, just because I've read so many positive things about them.  I really want to try and stay in the moment more this time round.  With my daughter, I felt I got so overwhelmed around 5cm dilated and that's when I needed an epidural.  I've read alot about taking contractions one at a time, we shall see if I can put this into practice.  

I think part of me just wants to experience labour without being hooked up to the monitors and having to lie on my back with an epidural.  Not that it was terrible or horrific first time round because it wasn't.  But I think I just want to see if I can feel more in control and try and experience it differently.  Obviously, the most important thing is that me and baby are OK, and a safe delivery and healthy baby are the things that matter the most. 

My hormones have been all over the place this week.  I have had at least three break-downs, one involving talking about a water birth with my husband (don't ask), and my skin just feels terrible too. I've been applying serums and face masks galore, but it just doesn't look great at the moment.  

This morning at breakfast I asked my husband if I should get all of my hair chopped off, and he sat me down and said he really wouldn't be able to cope if I didn't like it and maybe to wait until after baby comes.  I think these are wise words.  I think I'm a woman on the edge people! As I said in my last pregnancy blog, I'm really in no rush for these last few moments of being pregnant to go quickly, but I have feeling my husband might now be thinking otherwise!

So could this be my last pregnancy blog as I head into my 39th week? In all honesty I think I will still be blogging next week, but I will be sure to keep my social media updated with any developments!

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading, 

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Wednesday, 28 October 2015

5 things never to say to a woman at the end of her pregnancy

I'm now approaching my final weeks of this, my second pregnancy, and to be honest, I thought I'd heard it all.  From people questioning my bump size to querying my sleeping patterns, pregnancy really does make people say the strangest things to you.  After writing 5 things never to say to a pregnant lady, I thought I'd follow up with some more quotes that as labour draws ever nearer, I really don't want to be hearing, and that you should never, ever, say to a woman on the brink of labour. 

1. "Are you sure it's not twins?" 
I thought I'd overcome this old chestnut earlier in my pregnancy, but apparently not, and doubt remains as to the number of babies housed in my belly.  I mean, you would think the two ultra-sound scans done by a medical professional and the countless prods and monitoring from a midwife would detect if two babies were present in my uterus, not to mention the actual size of my bump!  Never ask this question friends, because, unless some bizarre Biblical immaculate twin conception is about to take place at week 38, there's normally just one in there, unless you've been told otherwise. 

2. "You look like you are ready to pop!"
Pop??? Really????? There isn't anything popping round here, and please include in this section the terms bursting and exploding. These adjectives are completely unnecessary.  

3. "Let me tell you about my labour / the neighbours 6 month long labour / my friends- uncles- girlfriends horror story". 
Nope, nope and nope.  Unless you are going to explain how you birthed your baby in a tranquil pool of dolphins, then we really don't want to know.  You are only going to scare the living daylights out of us, so really best to keep your horror stories to yourself. 

4. "Are you going to the toilet again?????"
Please never, ever question the number of times a heavily pregnant lady goes to the toilet, unless, that is, you also have a 7lb baby pressing on your bladder. It's best to stay quiet, and watch her admiringly waddle to the ladies.  Again.  

5. "Not had the baby yet?" 
If this sentence ever escapes your lips, you are in very tricky territory indeed my friend.  Either, the person has had the baby and what you are seeing is the remnants of their pregnant belly, (didn't anybody tell you it doesn't just shrink back straight away??? This isn't Hollywood people). Therefore, you are just about to insult someone who is pretty hormonal anyway. Or....the person is still pregnant and might just throw something in your face for stating the bloody obvious!

Take heed my friends, and if you are ever in any doubt, always, always refer to the fail-safe pregnancy code.  Tell the pregnant lady in question she looks amazing! 

Thanks for reading, 

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Monday, 26 October 2015

Chanel Les 4 Ombres, Tisse D'Automne : Review

I have been wanting this gorgeous Chanel Autumn eye palette for a few months now and earlier last week, I couldn't resist any longer! To be truthful, I've never actually bought anything from Chanel before for myself.  I've had items bought for me, but I've never gone to buy myself a product.  The main reason for that is because Chanel is so expensive.  I really see Chanel as a top-end luxury brand.  But, there was something about the colours in this eyeshadow quad that I really liked, and I may blame it on the pregnancy hormones, but this little quad somehow ended up in my shopping bag!

There is something very luxurious about Chanel products.  This little quad came in a little black suede bag in the box, which made me giggle, as it's almost like it is so precious that it needs it's only little pouch!  What's even funnier (or sadder) is that I keep on putting it back in it's little black pouch like I'm tucking it up every time I've used it!!!!!

But, onto the eye-shadows.  There are four gorgeous shadows which to me, are perfect for Autumn.   There are two shades classed as 'ombre' shades.  One is a shimmery green colour (top left) and the other is a shimmery brown colour (bottom left).  Whilst both colours are shimmery, they aren't too shimmery so they resemble the make-up you used to wear when you were 15.  It's a very subtle shimmer with little fall-out on application.  

The other two shades are a highlight peachy pink (top right) and a intensifying green (bottom right).  Again, the colour pay-off is good, and these shades just work and blend so well together.   

The shadows can easily be used for a day look and then with use of the darker green, really smoked up for a night-time look.  I'm really pleased with the palette and I've worn these colours alot recently.

Of course, there are way cheaper eye-shadows out there, and using this palette will unfortunately not turn you into the epitome of Parisian chic, but, if you want a gorgeous quad palette and fancy giving Chanel a go, then I would highly recommend. 

The Tisse D'Automne Chanel palette is still available to buy here.

Thanks for reading, 

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Friday, 23 October 2015

Pregnancy Blog: Week 37

Good morning! And hello to the end of week 37!!! First of all, I feel I should apologise for the heavily edited photograph.  I took it on my way out to meet friends last night, and all I can say is that in colour, my face resembles that of an orange.  I tried a new foundation just before leaving, and either I looked quite frankly luminous last night, or the foundation does not photograph well, I'm hoping it's the latter.  Either way, the only way the photograph was getting on this post was in black and white, and I thought that was better than no photograph at all!!!!

Weirdly, when soooo many people kept saying how huge I looked earlier in my pregnancy, now people are saying how neat of a bump I have!! This week one woman even asked me if my dates were right as my bump was 'too' small!!!!  I think that really shows not to listen to a single comment about your bump size during pregnancy.  Maybe the bump is like an optical illusion and some people see an elephant and some people see a mouse.  Or something like that.  Anyway, the moral of this blog is don't listen to a word, unless it's complimentary of course!  

On the whole I've felt really well this last week, but I'm definitely feeling more tired and I like to be in bed by the very late hour of 9pm. Lie-in's and naps in the day are out of the question with my three year old daughter, so I'm getting my sleep in wherever I can.  

I do have some days where I know I have done way too much, and by the time my husband gets home in the evening, I will be exhausted. I then, on occasion, have burst into tears wailing that if I go into labour at that precise moment there is no way I can push the baby out!!! I'm not quite sure what the right answer is for my husband to say at this point, but he smiles sympathetically and tells me to take it easy, probably whilst thinking where has the sane girl gone whom he married!

As well as wailing about being too tired, I've also felt a little bit emotional that my pregnancy is coming to an end.  I actually like being pregnant, which, when I told my friend this, she spat her drink out.  I know, I know.  I probably spent the first 20 or so weeks crying into the toilet, but even at my worst worst moments, somewhere in my head, I knew this was our little miracle. 

I know the pain of not knowing if you will ever hold your own baby in your arms.  I have sat and cried with friends who have gone through IVF and fertility treatments.  I have consoled friends who have lost babies.  To carry and give birth to a healthy baby is truly a miracle.  And now my time is nearly up.  Obviously I know that once baby is born I get to experience that amazing first cry, that first cuddle, those first heady days of utter exhaustion and utter love.   

But as I feel baby wiggle and kick, part of me thinks, is this the last time I will ever feel this?  For me, the end of pregnancy is almost bitter-sweet.  And whilst I cannot wait to meet baby, I am in no rush for this pregnancy to end.  I plan on savouring every second of my last two weeks. 

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Thursday, 22 October 2015

Re-discovering The Body Shop

I haven't stepped foot inside a Body Shop store for a very, very long time.  In fact, I think it may have been about 10 years ago. The truth be told is that I actually used to work in a Body Shop whilst I was at college.  I really enjoyed working there as I used to get lots of free samples to try the products so I could (hopefully) be knowledgeable about them and recommend them to customers.  Every week I had a new hair mask or cream to try.   
Whilst I liked the job, it unfortunately coincided with me just discovering nights out and alcohol.  I had many a hangover on a Saturday morning, and I can vaguely remember the store manger marching me into the back when I had attempted to do a gift basket for someone that looked like my dog had done it.  No, it looked far far worse than that.  I was never very good with cellophane and bows.  

Anyway, I completely digress.  Last week, I thought I would have a wander in and see what was new and if any products caught my eye.  I left half an hour later with a bag full of goodies and lots of freebies which always signifies a good shopping trip to me!!!

The first thing I picked up was two mini tubs of the coconut body scrub and body butter. These are the original body butters in my opinion, and they smelt as good as ever.  I thought the small body butter would be a perfect size for my labour bag. 

The next thing that caught my eye was the Spa of the World section, which looked like a new range from the Body Shop aimed at being luxurious and bringing spa treatments to home. I picked up this Polynesian Monoi Radiance Oil which you apply to clean skin and you can also apply to hair too. 

This oil feels really luxurious and smells delicious.  It sinks into the skin really quickly and after using, my skin felt really soft and actually looks healthy with a 'glow'.  I haven't applied it to my hair yet, but I would say a little goes a long way as after applying to my body, some of my hair rubbed into it and then became quite greasy looking, so just make sure you tie your hair up!!! 

I also really loved the smell of the Hawaiian Kukui Cream, which unfortunately they had sold out of.  It smelt absolutely delicious and was a really thick whipped moisturising cream. I will definitely be going back to pick that up. 

Whilst these products are a bit more expensive than my usual brands, I think they feel really luxurious and are a really nice treat to use.  I've really enjoyed using them during some 'me' time before baby comes.  

Whilst I was in store, I also signed up to the free Love Your Body Club, which is a reward-points scheme, similar to other in-store points cards.  As I had spent over £25, I automatically got a voucher for £5 off my next purchase and I got a full sized honey body butter and bath melt! 

I have tried both of these products and they smell delicious and probably all the nicer as they were free!!! 

If you fancy a few special body treats, then I would definitely recommend popping into your local Body Shop and it's also worth asking about what offers are currently on if you sign up for their points card too!!! 

Now not to say the 'C' word, but I now have my eye on the Body Shop's advent calendar and I shall be emailing the link to my husband! I am a sucker for beauty advent calendars, and I was so impressed with these products, I think a little Body Shop treat every day in December would be perfect! 

Thanks for reading,  

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Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Our Nursery

Our nursery for baby number two is finally complete and I am so excited to share it with you all! I love Pinterest as much as the next person, so during my second trimester I became I tad obsessed trawling through hundreds of images for nursery decor and inspiration.  It's always a bit too easy to get carried away, and as usual I had some pretty wild ideas, which luckily, we didn't end up going with!   

As we don't know if we are having a little boy or little girl, the theme and colour had to be quite neutral and hopefully fit with the furnishings we already had in the room from my daughter who now has her own room across the hallway. 

I really liked the idea of having plain walls with one feature wall by the cot, and then we came up with the idea of little white stars 'hanging' from the ceiling.  

After lots of research, I found some self-adhesive stars that we liked, but the price was about £100-£150 to re-create the pattern and style we wanted, so, we decided to do a spot of DIY and make the feature wall ourselves for much less money. 

The colour we picked for the main wall is actually colour matched to the wallpaper that was on the wall previously.  It's a lovely creamy beige colour, and it's not only neutral, but also matches the curtains and light shade that are already in the room. 

After we had painted the feature wall, the tricky part was painting very thin lines that the stars would 'hang' from. Luckily, my husband has a much better eye for straight lines than me, and he used two lines of masking tape to create a very thin line inbetween that we could then paint.  

We painted 19 of these very thin lines, and we did them of varying lengths and also varying spaces, just so it didn't look too uniform. We applied three very thin coats of white paint and once dry, we removed the masking tape to reveal the lines which the stars would 'hang' from. 

We then carefully applied different sized self-adhesive stars to the bottom of each of the lines.  Again, there was no pattern or order, we just applied the stars randomly.  We used three different size of stars. 

I am so pleased with the end result, and love the effect of the stars almost 'falling' down to the ground. 

As the lines are so so thin, you really can't tell that they are painted and the stars are stuck on, it actually looks like the stars and lines are attached to one another.  We bought the stars really cheaply from Ebay, and I think they only cost about £5 in total. 

The rest of the room is quite plain really, but I think because of the feature wall, it all comes together nicely. 

Our nursery furniture is from Mothercare. 

I know baby won't be in the nursery for some time yet, but I have really enjoyed getting a space ready for him or her. 

I love to sit in the nursery and it's a really relaxing and calm space. I have very fond memories of sitting in this room and feeding my daughter from the very same comfy settee.  
We can't wait to meet you Baby Bee! x

For more nursery inspiration, you might like to take a look at our DIY safari themed room we recently completed too. 

Thanks for reading, 

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Friday, 16 October 2015

Falling out of love with social media

I have been very quiet on my social media pages just recently (audible gasp), and, if I'm honest, I've just really fallen a little bit out of love with it all.  As a blogger, you are meant to have your finger on all of your social media pulses, but my enthusiasm to do this has been pretty dead of late.   

I actually haven't even looked at my Instagram for a week now, and Twitter I've glanced at once.  But I can honestly say, I haven't really missed looking them.  Before, without really knowing I was doing it I would be checking my news feeds and before I knew it, I would be looking at some random person's outfit of the day. 

Twitter really annoyed me recently, and whilst I follow some lovely people, I was getting really fed up of people following me only for me to follow them back back and then they would un-follow me.  It really feels like to some people it's just a process to try and get as many followers as possible rather than actually wanting to engage and interact with others. 

And then I'm fretting about what I'm actually tweeting.  Does anyone actually want to know that I'm on my third (ok, fourth) biscuit? (Ok, ok, fifth). 

And its the same on Instagram.  Looking at other people's beautiful snaps is lovely, but then as I'm sat in my pjs' with toothpaste round my mouth and my hair resembling that of a birds nest, I don't always want to be reminded of other people's luscious locks and adventures in a fairytale forest whilst they ride upon pink unicorns.  Or something like that. 

I hope I don't sound bitter.  Hmmm, maybe I do and we'll blame it on the pregnancy hormones.  But sometimes, it's nice to take a step back and disconnect from that social world.  

I realise I won't be doing myself any favours with gaining new followers with this post! This really isn't an advert to follow me on my social media!! But, it's the truth and this week, it's how I feel. 

Of course, I will be back on said social media accounts, and of course I will always love a little look at what other people are doing / up to.  But it's nice to remember that life is happening right now and we don't need to tweet or instagram it to enjoy it. Sometimes it's great to just be in that very moment and not tell a single other person about that beautiful sunrise you saw or delicious cake you just ate, because, well, it's your secret. Just seeing it with your own eyes and experiencing is sometimes just enough. 

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Thursday, 15 October 2015

Pregnancy Blog: Week 35 & 36

Hello there!  I'm so sorry that there has been a complete lack of blog posts in the last week, and I actually missed my week 35 update to!!! So here I am now 36 weeks pregnant!!! It's been such a hectic few weeks and I have to say, I have turned into somewhat of a crazy lady.  You know how I said that my husband had been away and I was frantically cleaning?  Well, that all seemed to step up a gear last week as I developed an unhealthy relationship with bleaching my kitchen floor.  I know, weird.  It got to the point that I was actually thinking about it at night because I had missed an area and obviously this needed rectifying ASAP!!!

After I had scrubbed the floor to within a inch of its little tiled life, my cleaning obsession now knows no limits, and we have a weeded front garden, recently changed around lounge (which the husband doesn't like) and gleaming mirrors.  The only problem is we have to live in the house.  I think if we could move out to maintain its immaculateness then I would be quite happy with that.  I know, I know, I've lost it.  Because let's face it, in a few weeks the house is going to be the furthest thing from my mind. 

Apart from obsessive cleaning, I have finally packed my labour bag, expect a post about all my essentials soon! 

My number one worry now is we still haven't decided on a name. There are a few names we like but they are way too similar to friends children's names, and if we used them I would be fretting too much about it.  So, on a list at the moment is about 5 that we keep debating over, and I keep going off them and then re-liking them. I'm such fun to live with at the moment.  If my poor husband isn't getting followed by me brandishing my steam mop, I'm following him whining about baby names.  Looks like Halloween has come early for him.  He's so lucky! :-)

I feel quite well in myself, but I can definitely feel that I am nearing the end now as I feel really heavy and when I've done a cleaning session I am exhausted.  Baby remains very active and I often just stare at my stomach which does the strangest contortions as baby wiggles and jiggles.  

Some nights I manage to get a good nights sleep, others I wake in the early hours then I just can't drift back.  I don't know if that's because my mind suddenly springs into action and starts thinking about baby, or it's just a pregnancy hormone thing.  

Oh yes, and most days I have a moment where I think I'm in labour.  I only have to have a bit of wind, and I glance nervously at my hospital bag.  In all honesty, I think I'm going to go all the way to my due date, but its that anticipation and excitement of never quite knowing when baby is going to make an appearance.  

I had my whooping cough and flu vaccination last week, and I was a bit disappointed that I had been left off the recall list for some reason, so I only found out about it by chance after I had Googled something else (!).  Deciding to have vaccinations is a bit of a minefield when you are pregnant, and my advice would be not to read 99% of what's written on the internet.  From horror stories of people who had the jabs, to horror stories of those who hadn't, I decided to stick with the NHS advice and get the jabs and I feel all the better for having them now.   

As I head into week 37, and everyone keeps telling me 'any day now', I honestly feel a little nervous, but very excited of the new little person we will meet very soon, I don't think I can quite believe it, though there is no way I can go into labour yet, whilst my bag is packed, we need to get that name picked!!!   

Thanks for reading,  

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Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Halloween Party Inspiration

It's that time of year again, where you can't move in your local supermarket without fear of knocking the giant pumpkin display over (oh, that's just me then) and there's more costumes and candy than you can shake a witches broom at.  Our Halloween's have always been pretty low key, but now my daughter is that little bit older, (she has already eyed up a werewolf costume she has taken a fancy to), I thought I'd put a bit more thought into this year's celebrations.  

The lovely people at Zazzle kindly let me loose on their website to choose my picks for Halloween, so without further ado, here's what I chose for a spooky Halloween themed party.  Oh, and before I begin, I should really say it took me hours to pick.  Zazzle has so much choice that I really could have spent a good week debating the various merits of their Halloween stock! 

First up, if you are throwing a little Halloween gathering, you need invitations.  These immediately caught my eye as they were spooky, without being frightening for little ones. The design of these is the design that is on the Zazzle website, but you can completely personalise the invites and play around the design to your heart's content.  The invites are printed on really high quality paper and have a very luxurious feel to them! 

I adored these little pumpkin favor boxes and thought these would be the perfect size for sending guests home with cake and Halloween goodies. Again, you can completely personalise the boxes with your own message on each box. 

No Halloween party is complete without some paper plates! I loved the design of these and they are the perfect size for Halloween treats. 

And in a similar design to the plates, I thought this poster was also really great and would go wonderfully hanging above the cake table!  Again, the poster is really high quality and something that will definitely last. 

With the help of my daughter, we picked a few treats out for her. She choose this very cute Halloween apron, which she hasn't wanted to take off since it arrived.  It's lovely thick material and the perfect size for her to make some yummy Halloween cupcakes in. 

We also picked out this very soft cotton dress, with a little Halloween motif on the front.  Again, the quality is fantastic and its Halloweeny without being too in your face. (For some reason she was dancing like a crazy lady when I was trying to take her picture in it). I ordered size 4/5T which fitted my daughter perfectly, she is 3 years old and normally wears aged 3-4 clothes. 

Lastly, we picked up this canvas bag which is the perfect size to hoard all of our Halloween goodies in.  

All of the above products can be found at Zazzle, and I cannot recommend the site enough. The range and quality is amazing and the ability to personalise almost anything on their site is fantastic. This is the first time I've used Zazzle, but I will definitely be returning.  At the moment, you can use code: SHOPXMASCARDS on the Zazzle website for 35% off invitations, greeting cards and photo cards. 

Right, I'm off to find my witches broom and double check my daughter does want to be a werewolf! :-) 

Thanks for reading and wishing you all a happy Halloween! 

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Zazzle kindly sent me the above items for review.  All opinions are completely honest and my own.

Friday, 2 October 2015

Pregnancy Blog: Week 34

So, its finally happened...I've gone nesting mad! This week has seen me going a little crazy trying to get the nursery sorted.  I've lost count of the number of baby gro's I've washed and I think the neighbours must think I have already had the baby, as every day there is a new outfit hanging on the washing line.  I am exhausted, but somehow I'm still going.  I shall not be defeated.  I don't think it helps that my husband is currently away as nobody is here to reign me in, but, I feel better for getting everything sorted.  It's nearly, nearly done!

Today, I popped into town and bought all the things I need for my hospital bag.  I say 'need', and use that term quite loosely. Anyone would think I am going away to the Bahamas for two weeks as I perused the aisles and contemplated how I want my hair to smell post labour, whilst sniffing a copious amount of miniature shampoo and conditioners. Again, I know some would think I'm crazy, but sorting these little things just makes me feel better.  Obviously, I have bought baby essentials too. Which leads me on to a going home outfit. 

I admit, I live in my own little dream world, and in my little dream world, me, my husband, our new arrival and daughter will leave the hospital, and it will be wonderful. Our new little bundle of joy will be immaculate in his or her's gorgeous little outfit and we will make our way home for the first time as a foursome.  

The reality of this scenario is that I will probably be waddling out, with possible sick down my top, and our newborn may or may not be wailing as he or she will need a feed.  A nice baby outfit will be the least of my worries.  However, this doesn't stop me.  And can I find a nice plain suit anywhere? No. I feel like I am the only person in England who has opted for a surprise knowing the gender.  All I can find is pink or blue outfits.  Or ones with words emblazoned across the front.  I will let you know how my search goes.  I did end up on the Selfridges website, but after seeing a Gucci snow-suit for £500 I decided I was definitely in the wrong place! 

I'm feeling OK in myself this week.  Baby's movements feel huge now when he or she moves. Possibly verging on uncomfortable as my whole belly wobbles from side to side.  I have some belly button news too...well sort of.  If I've eaten alot in the day, my belly button then  pops out in the evening.  It does return to its usual innie self the next morning, but I think its only a matter of time before it makes the transition to being an outtie full-time.  

My 34 week midwife check went well, and baby is now head down which is good news.  She did say the position could change, but baby's little legs were tucked under my ribs with his or her arms to my left.  Personally I think her or she is still doing somersaults in there, or at least trying their best to. 

I will definitely have my hospital bag packed for next week.  I know I've said this on nearly every blog post, but definitely by next week.  Definitely. :-) 

Thanks for reading, 

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Monday, 28 September 2015

Beautiful & easy to make paper flowers

We recently made these lovely paper flowers for my daughters Abuela (Spanish grandma) as a birthday present.  The end result was a pretty vase of hand decorated flowers which she absolutely loved. After trawling the internet, and many flowers gone wrong following dodgy tutorials, I finally perfected how to create these flowers, and its so easy! 

I thought this was a lovely and thoughtful, yet simple idea to make for a birthday or maybe just to cheer someone up, so here's how we did it. 

You will need (to make four flowers):

Twelve squares of plain paper approx. 8cm x 8cm (You can use larger or smaller sheets depending on how big you would like your flowers to be)
Colours to decorate the paper 
PVA glue, (or any runny glue) 
Bamboo skewers for stems 

My daughter started by decorating the paper and colouring patterns and swirls on one side. I found just doing this on one side of the paper was enough, but, you could decorate both sides if you wished.  You repeat this for all twelve squares. 

Next, you fold one square in half diagonally, going from corner to corner.  If you have only decorated the paper on one side, make sure the pattern is on the inside. 

You repeat this folding process twice more going diagonally and corner to corner, so in total you have folded the paper three times and you are left with a small triangle. 

Keep an eye on which corner is the centre of the paper whilst you are folding, it is from this point of the triangle that you want to just cut the end of the paper off.  Don't cut too much off. This will be the place you thread the petals onto the stalk. 

With the other two sides, cut a petal shape going from each of the points.  When you open the paper out, you should have a flower shaped petal with a small hole in the centre. Repeat this process with two other sheets of paper, then lay the three petal shapes out. 

From the first petal, cut out one petal along the fold lines.  From the second petal, cut out two petals from the fold lines.  And on the third petal, cut out three petals. 

Next, place glue along one side of all petals and fold over to create six little cones of different sizes. 

These cones can now be threaded onto the stem.  I found bamboo skewers worked really well, but you could use gardening wire or pipe cleaners.  Start with your smallest cone, and apply more glue to its centre. Thread onto the stick and add more glue around it if needed. 

Repeat this process, adding more glue each time, using the next smallest petal until all petals have been threaded on. I found it easiest to thread from the base of the skewer. 

And ta-dah! A beautiful paper flower! A gorgeous and pretty gift. You could also use wallpaper or patterned paper to make these flowers, and the best bit? They will never ever wilt! 

I would love to see your creations, so be sure to tag me on Instagram or Twitter if you make any! 

Thanks for reading,  

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